Sunday Morning Quarterback

Friday, April 21, 2006

THE RAP SHEET
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The week in eligibility-crippling issues - legal, academic, institutional and otherwise...

PERSISTING, the rumor that Ohio ~~Please Stop Confusing Us With The Ohio State~~ University coach Frank Solich’s drunken escapades in December could have been aided by the dreaded date rape drug, GHB. Per the self-referential, speculation-heavy report by the local At h ens NEWS:
Ohio University head football coach Frank Solich had an opportunity Tuesday to either confirm or deny statements attributed to his extended family, claiming that his well-publicized arrest for drunken driving last November was actually the result of his being drugged.

Solich, however, declined to comment, even though the OU athletic department arranged for him to meet with an Athens NEWS reporter.

Athens City Prosecutor Lisa Eliason confirmed last Friday that she has been in contact with Solich's attorney about the possibility of someone tampering with his drink.

"Nothing has been filed," said Eliason on Wednesday, "(but) there could be a motion to withdraw a plea." She added that she could not comment further due to a conti nui ng investigation.

Asked why, if no such motion had been filed, she couldn't comment, the prosecutor replied: "Just because they've raised it as an issue."

Rumors that Solich had been drugged began circulating within weeks of his Nov. 26 arrest in A thens a nd his DUI no-contest plea two days later. These gained momentum recently when an e-mail attributed to Jon Dalton, Solich's son-in-law in Nebraska, appeared on Internet bulletin boards and blogs. The author of the message said he had been "cleared to shar e some information" about the incident.

The e-mail claimed an analysis of Solich's hair taken after his arrest revealed "extremely elevated" levels of GHB, a substance naturally present in all mammals, but sometimes used as a "date-rape" drug.

It also suggested that OU President Roderick McDavis does not support Solich and OU Athletic Director Kirby Hocutt going public with the information.
And much more about the paper's sourcing efforts and reported GHB use (or lack thereof) in Athens, but the story does not address the pressing question: Who would want to date rape Frank Solich?

Some suspects:

Tom Osborne's Legacy
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You think you can escape, Frank, but you can't...see, you and I, we belong together...

Nick Nolte
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Hey, GHB worked for me!

George Costanza
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I'm gonna slip him a mickey...just like in the movies!

Kappa Sig named Tucker
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Fuckin' A, dude. Sweet. Totally sweet.

Glenn Quagmire
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Awwwwright!

(Hat tip: EDSBS)

BOOTED, from Solich's old school, wide receiver Grant Mulkey, for violating the proverbial "team rules." Mulkey has been one of the team's leading receivers each year of the brief Callahan Era, and was also crushed on a crossing route by a devastating hit from a Southern Miss defender (who, exactly, SMQ can't recall, and You Tube doesn't deliver this time) during the Eagles’ glorious 2004 win in Lincoln. He earned SMQ's respect for hanging on to the ball on that play, but the campus Daily Nebraskan nevertheless followed up by asking: "Is Grant Mulkey still alive?" Yes, but not as a member of the Husker team.

CLEARED, of NCAA violations, Adrian Peterson, who bought a car last winter with his mom (from the super-reputable Big Red Sports and Imports), drove it around a while, and took it back in the face of too-high payments. No big whoop: "Oklahoma officials determined Peterson did not receive an extra benefit that is not available to the general student body."

REMAINING in the Big XII, Iowa State's leading tackler, linebacker Matt Robertson, was booted from the Cyclones Monday for using an unidentified nutritional substance banned by the nanniesat the NCAA. What locker room could survive the horrible spectre of over-the-counter supplements! In the linked article, Robertson owns up to his actions and takes responsibility; Dan McCarney refers to him as "a team player, an academic all-Big 12 performer," but called his decision to take the supplement "unacceptable," the same designation already delivered this offseason upon the actions of convicted assailant, thief and underage drinker Jason Berryman or alleged assailant Greg Coleman.

CHARGED, Utah State quarterback Jared Walker, on Wednesday with the rape case in which he was arrested last Saturday. Unlike certain other accused rapists in certain other sports at certain other schools in certain other racial, social and institutional situations, nobody's making all that big a deal about the case against Walker.

HIT, with second-degree battery charges, former Arkansas running back/receiver Dedrick Poole. Poole was out clubbin' in February with former teammate and current Green Bay Packer Ahmad Carroll when he allegedly punched a bouncer. Carroll was hit on the same night with assaulting an officer when he "slapped the hand" of an officer trying to question the terrible twosome later on. Already, Poole's been charged for missing a court date and sued by the bouncer, who broke his nose.

CONVICTED, former South Carolina linebacker Marco Hutchinson, for robbing a bank with a toy gun, which he left at the scene in February 2005. The 'toy' part has no bearing if the teller believed it was dangerous. He faces 25 years and a $250,000 fine (Hutchinson, that is, not the skittish teller).

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Columbia police immediately recognized Mario Hutchinson's calling card

DISSED, and dismissed, former UK assistant Claude Bassett's crusade for restitution from the school, from which he resigned in November 2000 in the wake of undisputed recruiting violations that led to the bunker days of the Hal Mumme regime. U.S. District Judge Joseph Hood called Bassett's case "ludicrous."

PLED, to a DUI charge SMQ commented on two Fridays ago, projected starting tackle Alex Boone of Ohio State. The sophomore pled no contest and will face ten days in jail and a $300 fine.
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