Sunday Morning Quarterback

Friday, May 19, 2006

THE RAP SHEET
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The week in eligibility-crippling issues - legal, academic, institutional and otherwise...

We begin with the week's highest profile bust: Bell County Sheriff's Department deputies found five pounds of cheeba on budding Texas star (heh heh, get it - buding?) Ramonce Taylor, victim of the tried-and-true "pecan farm riot" trap:

According to the sheriff, deputies received a report at 1:34 a.m. about a large fight at a pecan farm in Little River, a community about 40 miles north of Austin.

Deputies also received a call from someone who said they had been at the fight and complained a window on his vehicle had been broken. That caller turned out to be Taylor.

While interviewing Taylor at a convenience store, deputies were told by other officers at the fight scene that Taylor had been involved and had threatened to return with a gun. Taylor was placed in handcuffs.

Taylor told deputies he didn't have a gun and gave them permission to search his vehicle. Deputies reported finding the bullet and the backpack with the marijuana. Deputies said the backpack belonged to Taylor.

Taylor was arrested and his vehicle impounded. Two other individuals with him, who were not named in the report, were released at the scene.
(Emphasis SMQ's)

Dude, dude, you know the bag's there. If it's yours, you know it's bustin' at the seams with weed. If it's one of your buds, you know your buds, and you know which one's got the bag bustin' at the seams with weed. You pulled a gun and drove back to the farm riot and waved it around some, so that bullet's no surprise, either. But nobody got hurt, or really hurt. You were only part of an epic brawl, you can deal with that. But you can't deal with a category two felony and up to two years in jail at 20 years old. The point is this: flash that Rose Bowl ring a little and don't let 'em search your car with shit in it, dude!

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His future in Austin uncertain, Ramonce Taylor is considering a career in Canada

IMPRISONED, potential starting Michigan State cornerback Cole Corey, for his participation in a "sex-and-alcohol party" thrown by his high school track coach back in 2002 (unrelated, we are assured, to the parties the coach would put on the following summer). Corey and a teammate are accused of taking Ecstasy, giving tequila and half an Ecstasy tablet to a 17-year-old girl and having sex with her essentially incapacitated body. If sex is as much about self-esteem and "thrill of the hunt" as it is phyiscal gratification, how low would you have to be that rape, effectively, picks you up?

CHARGED, with assault, three former high-profile UCLA players - draft picks Ricky Manning Jr. and Maurice Drew and one-time leading rusher Tyler Ebell, also late of UTEP - accused of beating a man at an L.A. Denny's in April. What barbarian breed of brutal backwoods badass could sufficiently threaten three finely-tuned, big-time athletes?:

According to reports, the three allegedly were among a group that harassed a man working on a laptop computer at the restaurant.

"The group began by making comments that the victim looked like a geek or a nerd," Lewis told reporters days after the attack.

The victim asked the group to stop and then complained to a Denny's manager before someone in the group punched him in the face. He then was punched and kicked by multiple attackers until losing consciousness..

Remind SMQ to stay out of Westwood! Not that he's much a Denny's fan to begin with.

The story reveals also the intense academic dedication of Maurice Drew:

Drew, the second-round pick of the Jacksonville Jaguars on April 29, has not taken classes at UCLA since a victory over Northwestern in the Sun Bowl.

(HT: Wizard of Odds)

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"Screw classes, man, I'm going to the pros! Well, first to jail, but...then to the pros!

REVOKED, the scholarship offer to Cornell Burbage II, who was set to attend New Mexico State next January before being charged Tuesday with second-degree rape and two overly-specific counts of sodomy...of a 13-year-old girl. Even Hal Mumme's hapless Aggies, not surprisingly, aren't desperate enough to maintain ties with this kid.

BOOTED, safety Bo Smith, from Mumme's old school in Burbage's home state. Smith, the team's best defensive player last year, was hit with the proverbial "violation of team rules" by Rich Brooks, which could conceivably include, among other things, serious efforts to win. Oh, har har, SMQ, but not fair: he's probably a sodomite.

Also dismissed Monday was on-again, off-again ex-basketballer Ravi Moss, who quit in the Spring, then decided to come back, was suspended for six games by the NCAA for receiving money for an autograph session with the basketball team after he first left the team in early April.
(HT: Wizard of Odds, again)

PLED, not guilty, former Arkansas receiver Dedrick Poole, accused of punching a doorman at a bar in February. He'll go to trial June 25. This is the incident, you may recall, that also involved ex-Razorback and current Packer Ahmad Carroll as well.

CLEARED, after a six-week investigation, four Iowa players accused of providing tickets to a local store owner in exchange for goods. Four Hawkeyes, then-seniors Jovon Johnson, Antwan Allen and Marques Simmons, as well current player Marcus Paschal, placed Sprint owner Jeremy Reed on pass lists for the Outback Bowl, as well as regular-season home games against Minnesota and Michigan, but

The report prepared by the university's general counsel's office concluded that while Reed received passes, "the investigation revealed no substantiation that any of these student-athletes received cellular telephone equipment or accessories in exchange for the complimentary admissions to the games."

So there you go.

ENTERED, a guilty plea, by Marshall running back Ahmaad Bradshaw, who was caught on tape sneaking into another dorm room and stealing a PlayStation 2. A PlayStation 2 was recently stolen from SMQ's house - really - and he's looking Ahmaad's way. In the meantime, Bradshaw's got two years probation and likely remains the Herd's best offensive weapon come fall.
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